


Five, 4, 3, 2...um.

by HelloThere3306



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Number Five | The Boy has PTSD, That good ol' Hargreeves disfunction, no beta we die like ben
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-10
Updated: 2020-06-10
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:29:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,684
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24633118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HelloThere3306/pseuds/HelloThere3306
Summary: The trials and tribulations of Number Five.
Relationships: Number Five | The Boy (Umbrella Academy) & Everyone
Comments: 4
Kudos: 215





	Five, 4, 3, 2...um.

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS: Depictions of dead bodies/apocolypse stuff. Nothing you haven't seen in the show. ALSO hurt/no comfort.

_"Fivey, would you look at the time? Ha, I'm joking, time is a joke."_

_Five forced a small smile, telling himself that her voice could do nothing but intimidate him. She smiled her terrible smile back, tapping her cigar against the table impatiently. Five had found she had a habit of that. She was always impatient, but she had nowhere to go and all the time in the world. Her impatience was as illogical as her motives, which Five had yet to discern._

_"Anyways, you did a wonderful job this last time. How did you manage to avoid her husband?"_

_"Offered him fortune. Men like him will do anything for a good few dollars."_

_"Of course. I assume he didn't get his fortune?" Five shook his head, and was internally pleased at her sly smile. He ignored the snaking tendrils of disgust that came along with that._

_He turned to leave, not bothering for a briefcase like his coworkers. He didn't need one. Before he exited the room, he heard a cough behind him. "You're turning out to be a very nice investment, Number Five."_

_"I should hope so."_

_"Such a nice investment should hope to please it's investor."_

_Five raised his eyebrow, still truned away from the lady behind him. He inspected the door frame as he answered. "What would you have me do?"_

_"Everything and Nothing, my dear."_

Five brought himself back to the present. The Handler wasn't a part of his life anymore, in fact, he was inclined to say she had never been in it. A being who lived outside of time would die outside of time. 

And anyways, it wasn't Allison's fault that her voice sounded quite similar to The Handler's. Not in pitch of course, Allison's was much sweeter and didn't have the smoker's grating quality to it, but they both knew how to manipulate people with just the tone of their voice. Watching Allison convince Diego to cook dinner for the night was like watching his former employer put someone on briefcase duty. The victim only knew they'd been slighted when they were already doing the woman's bidding.

"It's your turn tonight, Allison!"

"I know, I know. But I'm not as skilled a cook as you, especially not with pasta, and that's all we seem to have in the pantry!" That was because none of the Umbrella Academy occupants were good with socializing, and even store clerks repelled them. Vanya and Diego did shopping duty when absolutely necessary, but no more than that.

Five pretended that he was still occupied with his reading, though he was almost entirely sure the other two occupants of the room knew that he wasn't as invested as he'd like them to think.

"Have Luther do it then. He does whatever you want." Diego casually tossed a knife in the air, watching as it swerved completely off course and into the target nailed to the wall, which had been it's true target after all. 

"But Luther doesn't have the experience either! With our luck, he'd give us moon mash." Allison visibly shuddered. Five thought it was a bit overdone, real shudders didn't have quite that much shoulder movement. "Besides, mom taught you how to cook like a master."

Sighing in defeat, Diego slumped over to the kitchen. "I'll spit in your food!"

Allison smiled smugly. "At least it'll taste good!" With that, she slouched into the sofa, the smile still gracing her lips. She turned to Five, as if expecting a congratulations for her acheivements. 

Five didn't say anything, inwardly enjoying the small frown she threw his way.

"What are you reading," she settled on. Five was disappointed. He'd thought the celebrity sister would have better social skills.

Nonverbally, Five lifted the hardcover book so she could read the title. George Orwell's _Animal Farm._ Five found it interesting, as government was not something he understood as a fundamental need. He supposed that came with growing up off the grid.

Allison nodded. "Read that when we were sixteen. It was part of mom's tutoring." Five gave a curt nod in acknowledgement, dog-earing the page and giving into her conversation.

"Mom's tutoring was okay. Better than the other nannies, they hardly knew one plus one."

Allison frowned. "I don't remember much of the other nannies. Klaus says they show up sometimes, but...well I've never had a sharp memory."

Five frowned. He'd considered the possibility that Klaus saw the old nannies, but he wondered just what else he saw. Five hummed.

Allison bit her lip and stared at him for a few more moments. "Well, I gotta go see Vanya. I promised I'd watch her violin solo and tell her how it sounds before dinner."

Five nodded, feeling a swirl of something bitter in his stomach. Allison got up from the couch, gracefully stretching her legs. She shot a smile at Five and he went back to reading.

"See you at dinner, **Fivey**."

She didn't notice Five's shudder.

~ ~ ~

The whole world heard Klaus' screams.

Five and the others rushed up to his room, Luther shoving the door so hard that the hinges popped. Ben was alight with blue light, looking at them worriedly in his corporeal form. Vanya gasped at the sight of Klaus snuggled into his blankets, sheets ripped off the bed and objects soaring through the air towards him. Diego changed a pens trajectory by hitting in with one of his knives, while Vanya rushed towards a panicking Klaus.

"S-stop it!"

Vanya struggled to placate the medium. She took hold of his glowing blue hands and whispered softly to him. "Klaus, is it the past?"

Klaus shook his head violently. Five was sure he'd given himself whiplash.

"Is it the ghosts?"

Klaus nodded.

"What are they saying?" 

Klaus shook his head even more violently. "Can't-I just-SHUT UP!" Klaus clapped his hands over his ears. Five snapped around hurriedly at the flash of something blue whizzing past his ear. He sincerely hoped that Klaus didn't conjure any other dead people. Ben was enough.

Ben though, was at least slightly helpful. "Get back, guys," he said firmly, voice wavering with Klaus' power. The blue light surrounding him made Five slightly nauseous. "He thinks you're ghosts." 

Everybody but Vanya stepped back. Five peered over Diego's shoulder curiously. Not for the first time, he wondered how well Klaus had done in Vietnam. 

Eventually, encouraged by Vanya and Ben, Klaus calmed down. His eyes focused, and he stopped shaking. Mostly. His hands still had blue edges.

Diego cleared his throat. It sounded more like choking, the vigilante was trying to be quiet but it wasn't quite working. "So...what made you freak out so much?"

Vanya glared at him warningly, and Diego held up his hands. "I just didn't think...they got this bad."

Klaus' eyes trailed over to Five and then snapped away. Five knew something was wrong, his calculating eyes squinted in Klaus' direction. What had he seen?

Klaus chuckled nervously. "You know me! Freaking out about nothin', you know how it is!"

Luther raised an eyebrow. "Klaus...you know you can tell us anything?" Five hid his surprised pride from his siblings, plastering a scowl on his face instead. Luther had been trying, and succeeding for the most part. He listened, and only tried to offer solutions when asked. Five could often see his mouth working with unspoken words, words he wanted to say but didn't, and it made him glad that the apocolypse had at least taught him how to be a brother. 

There was at least that.

Klaus sucked in a breath like it would be his last and averted his eyes. He looked towards where Ben had last been seen, though at some point he'd become invisible again.

"Um...they kept-kept asking for..." Klaus paused and took another breath of air. "For one of you guys."

Five tensed. Ah. So his targets had come back to haunt him. Literally.

"Which one?" Diego pressed, and Five glared at him openly. He turned his threat on Klaus, who only paused a moment before answering.

"Fi-Five. They kept asking for Five."

As his siblings gazes turned to him, Five rolled his eyes and forcefully relaxed his posture. He would _not_ let this get to him. He would not show weakness.

"Psh. Vanya killed the nannies, and they're asking for me?" Somewhere in the back of his mind, Five registered the way Vanya's head drooped and her shoulders hitched up, but right now his mind was solely focused on avoiding the consequences. He sauntered over to the doorway casually, making sure his only exit was open. "You're wrong, Four. My name is a number, don't mistake their screams." 

With those parting words, he left the room. 

~ ~ ~

Five was lost.

He'd tasted the ashes, smelled the burning bodies, and he'd been teleported back to the rubble. He was kneeling over a body and-

_"Sorry, but I need this." Five muttered, leaning over the crispy remains of a businessman. The clothes were gone, but the flames hadn't completely melted the pocketwatch the man had been clutching at the time of his death. Five tugged it away from the finger bones enclosed around it and it came free._

_"I just need a spring. 'M trying to catch something."_

_The dead man didn't answer, but Five pretended he had. His voice sounded much like Ben's. 'What are you trying to catch?'_

_"Moles. Rats. Small rodents that were burrowed underground survived, and now there are a lot of them because no predators are here to get them." Five pretended the man praised him for his smart thinking. This time, his voice sounded like Luther._

_Carefully, Five pressed the rest of the watch back into the man's hand. He'd only take what he needed._

_"Bye," he muttered, stumbling over a piece of melted car._

_Five wondered what time it was. All the clocks had broken, and Five had never learned to tell the time with the suns positon. He knew general times, like evening or morning or night. He found it slightly ironic that the time traveller didn't know the time._

_Suddenly, he couldn't walk anymore._

_Realization threatened his calm composure. He didn't know which way the academy was. He'd left it behind weeks ago, and now he'd never be able to go back. What if he left something? What if someone was waiting for him there? What if-_

he'd never find his way back?

Five stumbled on a crack in the sidewalk, tumbling to the ground and clutching at his head.

Did his brothers miss him? His sisters? Were they looking for him?

Five had read Vanya's book. He hadn't even gotten his own chapter like the rest of them. He'd been mentioned, of course. Every couple chapters there'd be a couple paragraphs. But it was mostly context. Five knew it was because they'd been thirteen. Thirteen was too young to establish a good sibling bond. Before he'd left, Five had been utterly unremarkable in the sibling department. He hadn't talked much to his birth mates, especially not lonely little Vanya.

But he hadn't even gotten a name. 

His brothers and sisters had moved on. Gotten names, jobs, relationships. And Five had remained Five and scavenged for food and talked to dead people and mannequins-Delores.

Delores.

Five sucked in a breath. He missed her. She understood him. She was there, she listened to his calculations and knew his thoughts and listened to him more than he ever listened to anybody.

And he'd had to let her go.

Because she _wasn't real._ And she never had been. And now Five had real people, his siblings, to talk to and listen to, and he couldn't even do that. 

Well, that wasn't quite true. The Handler had been real, though he questioned if she really was a person. She'd fixed him. Given him purpose. 

He'd thrown that away, hadn't he?

Five stumbled into an alley, spotting a half empty vodka bottle amongst the other trashes of the streets. He decided to take his chances, and downed it all. Thankfully, it was vodka, and he smiled as the fuzzy edges filed away the sharp ones. He didn't need to be sharp, that's what his siblinds always said. The apocolypse was over, they'd ridden the world of that danger, they said.

Five hoped they were right.

~ ~ ~

"We need to do something about Five."

"What makes you say that?"

"He stumbled in hungover this morning. He looks like he was hit by a bus!"

"Good point."

The Hargreeves sibings lingered outside of one of the recreational rooms, whispering frantically to eachother late at night. They'd seen Five enter the room not thirty minutes before, and were determined to pressure him into spilling his traumas. With a sigh, Luther pressed onward and shoved the door open, tired of his siblings incessant talking back and forth. If they were going to stage an intervention for their youngest-oldest?-sibling, they should do it unscripted. Sincerely. "Five, we want to talk."

Five didn't turn. He sat at the windowsill, knees drawn into his chest, staring at the big bright moon in the city sky. "Hm."

Klaus leaned against the doorway. "Bruder, we've all talked about our issues. It's your turn. If you don't spill the beans, then _I'll_ spill _your_ beans all over the floor!"

Allison wrinkled her nose at Klaus' strange threat. "You don't need to tell us everything. We just want to try to help you."

Five shook his head. "I don't need help."

Diego scoffed. "If you don't need help, then I don't throw knives."

"Please, Five." Vanya muttered. 

Five only scoffed. "Go away before I jump out the window."

Allison huffed. "Fine then."

Luther looked at her confusedly, eyes widening when he sensed her intentions. "Alli, n-"

" **I heard a rumor...that you told us what happened to you."**

Before Five knew what was happening, his mouth was forming words. "It was dark at night. There was no moon to reflect the light, so where in day it was bright and hot, at night it was freezing cold and picth black and everything was too quiet."

Klaus shrank back, edging closer to the door handle. Five was being too calm.

"I was alone for a long time, and I talked to myself alot, but that didn't help so I started to talking to other things. Delores...and sometimes I pretended you guys were still alive. It was weird though, because I read Vanya's book and saw your bodies, but it seemed so different from what I remembered of you." Five shook his head then, as if he'd forgotten there were people actually listening to his story and was chastising himself for some invisible weakness. "I forgot-" Here his voice cracked. "I forgot what you all sounded like, and eventually it all just started sounding like me, and I hated only hearing me, me and my calculations and my, my time travel...and then the Handler came and she took me and I never looked back because someone had finally taken me away and I never ever wanted to go back." 

Five only stopped to breathe before continuing, but to Diego it sounded like Five might have died just a little bit. "I'd forgotten what real food tasted like. I had, uh, the worst hamburger ever at the commision but I cried in front of the agents because it tasted better than anything I remembered."

Five was still facing away from his siblings, staring up at the moon. Allison felt guilt stab into her, and she took back her rumor in a whispered voice. Five, having gained his freedom of speech, cut off mid sentence. Allison hadn't heard it. 

"I'm so so-"

"Shut up." Five's voice was quiet, yet each one of the Hargreeves shivered at the utter cold embellished into the chords. "I don't want your sympathy, and I don't want anyone to mention this ever again."

Five finally turned around, and Allison's heart wailed when she saw the tear tracks running down his thirteen year old face. She felt as if she'd failed him.

"Okay."

**Author's Note:**

> I love Five, I swear! I miiiiiight make this into a series, with the Hargeeves trying to comfort Five and make up for what happened at the end but...maybe.


End file.
